On Making Assumptions

“Why do people make assumptions about those sitting next to them in the church pews?” 

This question came to mind, believe it or not, in the midst of overhearing a conversation about politics. This conversation took place between two believers who are active leaders in their church in some way. The conversation, as you can imagine, was pretty involved and animated. And loud. In short, the conversation revolved around political parties and elections and which side was right and wrong. 

You know, the usual. 

The question stated above came to mind when I heard one of these persons say to the other, “Well, it’s not like there are any Democrats sitting in our congregation.” 

What an assumption to make. 

Let’s talk about making assumptions, and why that’s bad. Especially concerning the people sitting around you in the church pews. 

I’ll warn you now - this article is a little bold for me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

When I was younger, my grandmother used to say “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” My mom would continue to repeat this to me throughout my childhood. When I was 7, this meant that a book from the library with a plain looking cover didn’t mean that the words inside were plain. When I was 15, I learned that this meant that a person who looked or acted a certain way on the outside didn’t mean that their life inside was the same. As I got older, I began to realize just how quickly some will lower the gavel. Essentially, my grandmother and my mom taught me from a young age that you can’t ever judge a person based on how they act or look or talk. You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. You never know what’s happening at home. You never know what’s on someone’s mind. 

You just never know. You can’t assume. 

When I overheard this conversation about politics, and the stated assumption that there surely couldn’t be any democrats sitting in a church congregation, it got me thinking. 

Who are we to assume anything about anyone who walks through our church doors? The pastor at the church I grew up at used to say, “If Jesus himself walked through the doors of our church right now, would you know it? Would you welcome him?” Jesus was an average man. A carpenter. An Israelite. An Arab man. 

To be honest, there are many people who look like Jesus that walk in church doors every week and do not receive a warm welcome. 

Because assumptions are made. 

Let’s talk about some broad areas that people make assumptions about our seat neighbors in the church pews. All of these areas are based on real situations that I’ve observed in churches. 

Politics.

Don’t assume that everyone in your church is a Republican. Don’t assume that everyone in your church is a Democrat. Don’t assume that everyone is conservative in their political views. Don’t assume that everyone is liberal in their political views. 

Personally, I think political views should stay out of the sanctuary and the pulpit. 

But, I’m aware that this is not the reality in many churches. That’s fine. But stop making assumptions. Don’t assume that every believer sitting next to you in the pews is on the same page as you in terms of political views. And don’t assume that they need to be. 

Some of my friends and peers would be astounded to learn some of my own political views. And that’s ok. Because I still love and support those I disagree with politically. I may not watch your favorite news channel with you, but I’ll still love and support you. 

Some of the people in your pews are Republican. Some of them are Democrats. Some of them are Independent voters. Some of them question their political party. Some of them have doubts about their political party. Some of them have not registered to vote. Some of them have never voted. Some of them cannot vote. 

Some of the people in your pews are extremely vocal about their political views. Some of them are quite private about their political views. Some of them have bumper stickers. Some of them have yard signs. Some of them cringe when they see those sorts of things. Some of them don’t say anything about their political views because they are afraid to. Some of them wish they had the courage to say more. 

Don’t assume you know the political views of every person in your pews. 

Women’s Rights. 

I made this one a little more broad than perhaps is expected. But, this encompasses a lot of topics and areas. Women’s equality. Women’s discrimination. Women’s reproductive rights. Women’s equal pay initiatives. Women’s ministry. Women. Fifty percent of the global population. 

Not only are you dealing with sensitive and complex topics like women’s equality, abortion, birth control accessibility, infertility - but these are topics that women may or may not have talked about amongst other women. These are sometimes extremely sensitive and difficult topics to talk about. At the very least, you need to know that these are just some of the topics that a woman might discuss with her doctor. You need to know that the women in your pews have likely wrestled with questions and situations regarding these very topics. 

Very real questions and very real situations. 

Some of the women in your pews have struggled with infertility. Some of them have given up a child for adoption. Some of them have had an abortion. Some of them have had a miscarriage. Some of them have experienced sexual assault. Some of them are on birth control. Some of them are trying to have children. Some of them are praying about adopting a child. Some of them find themselves in difficult situations and don’t know what to do. 

Some of the women in your pews have fought to get the salary they deserve. Some of them have dealt with gender discrimination in their careers. Some of them have worked multiple jobs to provide for themselves and their families. Some of them struggle to make ends meet. Some of them tithe regularly. Some of them have never tithed because they can’t afford to. Some of them are wondering how they will pay for groceries this week. Some of them are buying extra groceries to donate to the food pantry. 

Some of the women in your pews are living in very difficult situations at home. Some of them have been abused. Some of them are thinking of leaving. Some of them are dreaming of someone returning. Some of them are unmarried. Some of them are divorced. Some of them are living alone and scared. 

Don’t assume that every woman in your pews has the same views on Women’s Rights, or have the same experiences as women. 

Ethnic Minorities. 

I made this one intentionally broad as well, because it could be referencing either people who fall into an ethnic minority category, or beliefs about people of ethnic minorities (particularly, immigration and human rights). 

Some of the people in your pews belong to an ethnic minority. Some of them feel isolated because of that. Some of them experience demeaning and degrading situations in their daily lives because of their ethnicity. Some of them are scared. 

Some of the people in your pews are not from America. Some of them are immigrants. Some of them are friends with immigrants. Some of them have escaped terrible situations in their home countries. Some of them have never seen a Bible. Some of them are wondering why there is an American flag in the sanctuary. Some of them have never heard Christian music or hymns. 

Some of the people in your pews have had hostile experiences in our country. 

Some of them do not always feel welcome in our country. 

Do they feel welcome in your sanctuary? 

LGBTQIA+ Community Members. 

Yet another incendiary topic. But it needs to be brought to the table. Because these people are in your pews. 

Some of the people in your pews identify as members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of them are “out” and vocal about that. Some of them are not. Some of them are terrified. Some of them are happy. Some of them are sitting in your pews with the words on the tip of their tongue. Some of them just want a hug. 

Some of the people in your pews are struggling with their identity. Some of them have very negative thoughts about themselves. Some of them are scared to think about how they identify. Some of them don’t know what the letters stand for. Some of them don’t care to know. Some of them are teenagers. Some of them are young adults. Some of them are older adults. 

Some of the people in your pews are supporters of the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of them are not. Some of them don’t know how to be supportive. Some of them have negative opinions about members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of them don’t know what to think. Some of them are trying to help. Some of them keep their distance from members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of them are nervous to vocalize their support. Some of them are very vocal in that they do not support. Some of them are still figuring out what they think. 

Some of them have not walked through the doors of a church in years. 

Some of them have been indescribably hurt by the church. 

Some of them are seeking Jesus. 

Will you introduce them to him? 

~~~~~~~~~~

Stop making assumptions. When you make assumptions, you could hurt those around you. When you make assumptions, you could miss an opportunity to introduce someone to Jesus. 

Stop making assumptions. Assumptions cause division. Assumptions create discord. Assumptions are really just not helpful for anyone. When you make assumptions, you put on a particularly colored pair of glasses, and they cloud your vision. It’s not helpful. 

The people in your pews are diverse, complicated, hurting, broken, loving, seeking, confused, driven, ambitious, living people. There are stories that each person could write a book with. Many of these people are your friends, your coworkers, your acquaintances, your brothers and sisters in Christ. 

You may not agree with the views that the people in your pews hold, or even with some of their beliefs. You may not agree or approve of their lifestyle, and perhaps you shouldn’t. You may not agree with their decisions about themselves and their lives and their bodies, and perhaps you shouldn’t. But you should love them. You should love them freely and without restraint, because that’s how Christ loves us. 

Get to know the people in your pews. Stop making assumptions. Don’t be so quick to lower the gavel.

Start opening your arms and welcoming people to come in and meet with Jesus. 

-C