Does Not Meet Expectation

Mentorship is a powerful personal and professional growth tool, a relationship built on trust, guidance, and mutual commitment. Over the past few weeks, I’ve emphasized its value, offering resources and strategies to kickstart the journey, notably the Mentee Action Plan (MAP). This structured approach involves setting clear objectives, establishing timelines, and equipping mentees with the tools they need to succeed. But what happens when, despite your best efforts, the mentee doesn’t deliver? Deadlines pass, check-ins go unanswered, and communication falters. It’s a frustrating scenario that invites reflection rather than resignation. 

Let’s explore five key questions to unpack this situation and turn setbacks into opportunities for growth.

1. Is There Anything Going on in Their Personal Life?

Life doesn’t pause for mentorship. A mentee’s failure to meet expectations might have little to do with their commitment to the process and everything to do with external pressures. Illness, family emergencies, financial stress, or mental health challenges can derail even the most motivated individuals. As a mentor, it’s easy to assume disengagement stems from laziness or disrespect, but that’s rarely the whole story.

The first step is to approach the situation with empathy. Reach out, not with accusations, but with genuine concern. A simple, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet lately. Is everything okay on your end?” can open the door to understanding. If they’re comfortable sharing, you’ll gain insight into barriers you couldn’t see. From there, you can adjust timelines or offer support, reinforcing that mentorship is a partnership, not a performance review. Ignoring this possibility risks misjudging the mentee and damaging the relationship.

2. Are They Struggling to Balance the Work You’ve Given Them?

Mentorship often involves tasks, whether reading, practicing a skill, or completing a project. What if the workload you’ve assigned clashes with their existing responsibilities? A mentee juggling a full-time job, school, or caregiving duties might find your MAP overwhelming, even if it seemed reasonable to you.

Check in on their capacity. Ask, “How’s the workload feeling? Is there anything we can scale back or prioritize differently?” This isn’t about lowering standards but aligning expectations with reality. If they’re stretched thin, they might avoid communication out of embarrassment or fear of disappointing you. By proactively addressing balance, you show flexibility and keep them engaged rather than discouraged.

3. Do They Struggle to Grasp Certain Concepts?

Sometimes the issue isn’t effort or time, it’s comprehension. If your mentee isn’t meeting objectives, they might be stuck on a foundational concept you assumed they understood. This is especially common in technical fields or when bridging experience gaps. They may hesitate to admit confusion, worried it’ll reflect poorly on them.

Test this by reviewing their progress. Ask specific questions, such as, “What’s been the trickiest part of this task?” or “Can you walk me through your approach?” Their responses will reveal gaps. If they struggle, adapt your teaching style, break concepts into smaller steps, use analogies, or provide additional resources. A mentee who feels supported in their learning is more likely to re-engage than one left floundering.

4. Have You Been Communicating Clearly?

Mentors aren’t immune to missteps. If your mentee’s falling short, consider your role in the equation. Were your instructions vague? Did you assume they’d infer deadlines or priorities you didn’t explicitly state? Miscommunication can masquerade as underperformance.

Reflect on your last interactions. Were your expectations spelled out, specific, measurable, and time-bound? Did you confirm they understood? If not, they might avoid you because they’re unsure what’s expected. Circle back with clarity: restate goals, outline next steps, and establish a check-in rhythm. Clear communication isn’t just a courtesy, it’s the backbone of successful mentorship.

5. Are Your Expectations Unrealistic?

This is the most challenging question: Are you asking too much? Mentors often bring enthusiasm and high standards, but those can tip into unrealistic demands. A mentee with limited experience might need months to master what took you weeks. Tight deadlines or complex objectives might overwhelm rather than inspire.

Revisit your MAP. Benchmark it against their starting point, not your current expertise. Seek feedback: “Do these goals feel achievable to you?” If they hesitate, recalibrate. Stretch goals are valuable, but they should motivate, not paralyze. Unrealistic expectations breed avoidance; attainable ones build momentum.

Moving Forward

When a mentee doesn’t meet expectations, it’s tempting to write them off or double down on pressure, neither works. Mentorship thrives on adaptability, yours and theirs. Start with a conversation. Use these five questions as a framework to diagnose the issue without judgment. Maybe it’s a personal crisis, an overloaded plate, a learning curve, a communication hiccup, or an overambitious plan. Whatever the root, the solution lies in listening, adjusting, and reaffirming your commitment to their growth.

Failure to meet a deadline isn’t the end of mentorship; it’s a pivot point. By addressing it thoughtfully, you model resilience and problem-solving qualities every mentee needs. So, the next time your MAP hits a snag, don’t despair. Dig in, ask the right questions, and turn “does not meet expectation” into “ready for the next step.”