Under Construction: Damascus Road
It was legendary. When I think about dramatic conversions, the story of Saul of Tarsus tops the list. No one expected it or saw it coming. Saul’s encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus radically changed his life. A primary persecutor of Christians became “The Way's” most proficient proclaimer! I've always thought it would be amazing to have a conversion story like that. (I often forget how everyone who turns towards Christ is an incredible, miraculous conversion.) But the more I think about it; I'm not sure if I would want that to happen to me - and how often I fight it when it does.
The reality of the Christian walk is it is a series of conversions. As we repent and turn toward Christ, we give Him lordship over our lives. It's one thing to declare; it's another thing to live out practically. There is a sense this lordship ultimately happens incrementally. Over time, in His patience and kindness, God reveals the areas of our lives where we are still holding on, not releasing our authority and receiving His. We have the daily opportunity to repent, to turn toward Jesus in our actions, reactions, and interactions. Unfortunately, I often find myself resistant to accept the invitation. When it comes to the "Damascus Road," my initial response is to want to take a detour.
It struck me recently how the encounter Saul had forced him to question everything he had ever said, done, or thought in his life. His entire identity and purpose had been wrapped up in being "a Hebrew of Hebrews," a Pharisee - one who knew and followed the law perfectly (as he understood it.) Then, when face-to-face with Jesus, he would be confronted with a gut-wrenching realization that he had it wrong - so wrong - for so long. It would take him three years to process the ramifications of this turnaround.
I find it easier to repent of the "bad" things I've done than the "good things done with wrong motives." It's hard to repent of things that are often ingrained in my thinking and I see (usually subconsciously) as part of my identity. What the "Damascus Road" offers us, is an opportunity to hold everything openly before God, to humbly call out to Jesus, "Teach me." The "Damascus Road" is particularly challenging for those who have been long-established in the Church.
"Deconstruction" is a trendy term at the moment. It describes many, particularly younger people, who have grown up in church cultures and are working through untangling and identifying what is man-made religion and what is Christianity. Many times the two things are so conflated they mistake the former for the latter and toss out everything. The "Jesus" they walk away from is often a false facsimile of the Messiah from Nazareth.
I believe the deconstruction process can be beneficial (and have gone/go through the process myself.) For those who long for "how things used to be" or are so entrenched in "how we always do it," this process might almost feel sacrilegious. In many church environments, "rightness" has been equated with "righteousness." The longer we've walked a certain path, the harder it feels to walk back. This deconstruction process is practically required as we follow Jesus, as He continues His work, as He shapes and forms us, as He leads us along the narrow way.
To walk the "Damascus Road" is to recognize we are "under construction." No matter how long we've been traveling with Jesus, we haven't reached the final destination. We’re not fully transformed yet. Along the way, we need to be willing to be confronted with the truth of who Christ is, to make sure we're following the Messiah and not a mirage. It often challenges us to rethink the things we have always thought, but it always moves us towards Jesus and His love. FWIW, when given the opportunity to walk this road, take it. Don't try to take the long way around.